Mmmmm KIM!!

On a much brighter note (if you read my last post), Kim came over lastnight. =D. What a night I HAD!

So yeah, I know Kim has been playing me, and not showing up like she said she would be.. but she DEF made up everything lastnight. Corrected ALL Wrong doings. LOL. But let me start from the beginning:

Kim sends me a text because she was supposed to come over the night before and bailed on me... again. She texts me how sorry she is, and how she knows she's been bs'in me etc. So what the hell? I decide to give her yet ANOTHER chance... she says she'll come over around noon.

Noon turns into 10pm. She shows up and heads to my room. We talked. I mean we had an EXCELLENT conversation. It's one of the reasons why I like her so much. But we joked around and it got physical.

**Reader, please keep in mind that it is 10pm on a Sunday night, I have classes the next day and homework to finish.**

So Kim swears she's this tough girl, but I can tell that it's really a facade, and that she's actually very sensitive. But keeping with her facade, she playfully pushes me.
HA. You know what THAT leads to!

Annnnnnnddddd it does. She somehow ends up on top of me (OH yeah!!) LOL. But the weird thing is, she likes the lights Completely off... I mean okay, first time you're a little shy, but she says she has NO lamps in her room, that she just likes the dark. So whatever. I turn out the lights.

I must interject and say that her lips have to be the SOFTEST lips I've ever kissed! I mean seriously. And kissing is my thing. But anyway, I stop her. I mean I really like this girl, and when I like someone... I kinda wanna take it slower. She questions why I'm stopping her and I tell her why. I mean I'm horny as ALL hell, but I'm seriously trying to restrain myself. So, I remove myself from her arms, and force myself to the opposite side of the bed (Go me). She then asks me if her and I have had the conversation about how many people we've been with.... ummm no. I'm always a little nervous responding to that question because I feel like, considering my age, and when I lost my virginity... my number is a little on the high side. But what the hell, honesty is the best honesty, and if Kim is really gonna judge me on my past, then she's not the girl I thought she was. So I tell her the truth: I've only slept with 2 girls... but I've been with 10 guys.
I Pause..... silence. Then the silence gets to be too much and I say:

Me: Don't tell me you're number is like ridiculously low.
Kim: It's actually the opposite

Me: really? okay like how many?
Kim: A Lot.

Me: what's a lot? 15? 20?
Kim:

Me: 25? 30?
Kim:
Me: ............................................................................

Kim: 35

Me: (in my head of course:)WHAT???????????? I mean this girl is MY damn age! 35 women??? LMAO and I was worried about my little as 2 girls and 10 guys! Oh wait, I didn't tell you? She has a guy count too! WHHHAAATTT????? Luckily it's only 3, but I mean, WHERE do you find time to sleep with 35 women??????????????????????????? I mean were you in relationship with all of them? Were they only one night stands? I mean were you intoxicated?

Me: wow really? I never would have thought that. But it doesn't really make a difference. The past is the past. I don't view you any different. But ummm how is that possible?
Kim: Some of them were relationships, a few one night stands...


She seems uncomfortable, so I drop it. I mean who am I to judge her? So she used to be a little whore.... that's okay. Some people may consider my number to be a bit whorish... but who the fuck are they? And who the fuck am I? So I drop it. I still like the girl... and I'm still horny.

So somehow, we manage to be all over each other again. And I'm really trying my hardest to stop, but it has been a MINUTE, and she is just touching the right spots. Plus she's kissing me... which turns me on the fastest and THEN she says:

she wants to give me head.










HOW do I say no to that??? I do somehow manage to because although it's been a LONG time... I'm just not like other girls. Head isn't that big of a deal to me. If I never got head again... I'd live. It's just foreplay, and it takes a lot for me to bust off of it. Plus I've only gotten head from 3 people in my life time and that's because I have to be VERY comfortable with a person to do that. I always feel like I'm being selfish.. like they're not getting anything out of it. So what's the point?

So I tell her no. It's outside my comfort zone.. and I'm content just kissing and touching. She will NOT take no for an answer. So.... I give in.

Now, I know I'm supposed to leave past relationships in the past, and not compare, but I mean Come on! Who doesn't compare??? I can't help but to relate this experience to the one I had with Naomi.......

......

......

......

Okay, so Naomi was better BUT that doesn't mean that Kim was bad, because she wasn't at all. I got off on it, its just
1. I'm not as comfortable with her as I am with Naomi
2. I was kinda Forced into letting her
3. My feelings for her weren't as deep as they were for Naomi.

But Kim DEF had other talents. I must say that I'm not to big on fingering, because I mean, Come on What is that? You do that when you're like 15, 16 experimenting with sex and are hella nervous. But DAAAMMMNNNN Kim was good at it! LOL. She made me reconsider my thoughts on it. Idk how, but her fingers jus landed on my g spot and STAYED there. Mmm I didn't last long. Which is so unlike me! And is actually a little embarrassing, but Kim got it like that. Seriously. So now that I'm off.... it's time to return the favor. I mean, I'm not a selfish lover at ALL, and am willing to do what it takes to get my partner off.

There's just one problem: I DON'T KNOW MY PARTNER

Which is precisely why I wanted to wait. Idk her likes, her dislikes, and yea, some of the fun is exploring and finding out, but I mean I have NO clue... So all I can do is what I did with Naomi, and see if it's a match. If not then I'm fucked.

It's a match.

Lol. Or maybe I'm just that good at sex? Never had a complaint, plus I'm a scorpio... which of course speaks for itself. So she's ALL into it, I mean gettin loud, speakin Chinese and then she drops a bomb on me:

She wants some head.

Now usually studs find such an idea repulsive, but Kim says she likes it. There's just one problem: I'm a pillow queen. And if you can't catch my drift from that let me be frank: I have NEVER given a girl head. I mean I've only been with two and one didn't want me to and the the other girl was SOOOooo horrible, I had no desire to. I mean it's not like the idea itself repulses me... it's just I like to be the best in EVERYTHING that I do, but especially sex. And to try head on a girl I'm really feeling when Idk how I'll be? makes me a little nervous.

I confess to her that I've never done that before... and she says it's not a big deal... But I know it is. Apparently, nothing gets her off like it. Ugh. Long story short... I decide to do it.




It CERTAINLY makes me appreciate it a lot more. I never realized how much of an art giving head truly was! HA! It took me a little while, and we started off in the 69 position, until I found out what I was doing.. but according to how hard she came, I'm assuming I wasn't that bad.
Okay well actually I fibbed.

She DID cum, but it wasn't because of my head. LOL. Idk HOW people stay down there that long, but my damn Jaw got tired! I wanted to stop!! So I did.

How selfish right?

Well the point was for her to cum because of me and she did... it was just because of my hand. That's all.

Damn, my jaw hurts just THINKIN about it. Idk what technique other girls use, but I'll stick to just being a pillow queen.

So, needless to say this went on for HOURS. I completed ZERO work, but I was sexually satisfied. However, it left me with a bad taste in my mouth (LOL no pun intended) about her. I like Kim a lot, but I was kinda turned off on how she couldn't wait! I mean I think I'm over it now, but lastnight... after she left, I just found myself wishin we hadn't even went down that path.

I saw her today, and she came over and gave me a hug, and while we were texting later, I informed her of how I felt... that we shouldn't smash again. I think she thought it wasn't good for me, because she said I tried to play her... but I didn't It was good... I just wanna wait. So now that we've been together, I'm hoping she won't put me thru the ringer to see her again. She says she won't but we'll just have to see.



PS: Is it just me or was the light thing a little bit of a turn off? I don't think there's anything wrong with Kim's body, and although everyone has insecurities... I mean she was Completely dressed before she let me turn on the light.. I mean shoes and all! Idk, maybe things will change at a later date.

K Kim, One Last Chance

Soooo Ran into kim today. She looked good enough to eat (HA). Apparently she hasn't been contacting me because her phone fell off of her balcony and the screen cracked.... Me: Excuses, Excuses. But she promised she would hit me up after 5 yesterday, once she got her new phone.

So we talked, admittedly not at 5, but we talked. Apparently her roommate got pregnant, boyfriend abandoned ship, she almost had a miscarriage and was suicidal... CRAZY I kno, but Drama none the less.

So I guess after that I forgave her, I mean truth be told, I woulda found any reason to forgive her because I like her so damn much... but I've decided to give her one final chance. She seems very shy, and I feel like I always have to pursue her in order for us to chill. UMH... no more. So I told her to hit her up when she felt like chillin. She immediately turned the question back on me: "well, when do you feel like chillin?" Not gonna work this time, I politely informed her that she needs to take some initiative. If she likes me like she SAYS she does, then perhaps she needs to show it. So long story short, she said we'd chill tomorrow.

=D

Yea, thas how I feel.

Hopefully she'll actually stick by her word. And if she can't for some strange reason... I expect to be notified. Otherwise, I may just have to let her ass go. **I sure hope not tho. I really like her.

Tap out??

Okay, so among the heart breaker (steve), my first "girlfriend" (naomi), and the rebound guy, there's someone else I'm talking to. I know, I know, I should just slow down, figure out what I want, one person atta time blah, blah BLAH... but a girls gotta have options right? Her name is *kim. I have been feeling this girl since my freshman year. She is very attractive, funny, and has the coolest personality I've ever encountered. Now my freshman year, I had never been with a girl, but I knew I wanted Kim. However she was engaged our freshman year... and I'm not home wrecker.

BUT fast forward 3 years..... she's no longer engaged, I'm no longer only sleeping with men, and we're BOTH single and extremely available.

EPISODE 1:

I hit her up, we text for a few days and then I invite her over. we HIT IT OFF. We laughed, joked, and just had a BANGIN ass conversation. I tend to be very sarcastic, but she could handle it. Although there was no physical contact besides a hug on her way out... I kinda wished there had been. So after that great night, I honestly could see myself seriously talking to her, and I genuinely wanted to get to know her.

EPISODE 2:

I hit her up (notice how I am the pursuer?? I HATE feeling like I'm pressed, I mean shit! if you like me pick up the phone and lemme kno!), I want her to come over again obviously.. but she informs me there is some kind of drama with her roomie and she has to go home to comfort her... ok, I respect that. So we don't chill, nor do we text, or have any kind of contact what so ever.

EPISODE 3-5:::

to sum it up: drama, Drama, DRAMA, roomie, Roomie, ROOMIE. Broken truths, lies of returning my texts/phone calls. Everything that comes out this girls mouth is about how her roommate is goin thru it, and how she doesn't want to be involved anymore. Like Kim, baby, if you don't wanna be involved, and you wanna be able to chill with me... then just DO it.

EPISODE 6:

She says she's comin over. =D that's all I can do. But that immediately changes. 1: she comes over an hour later than I had planned... so I know she's going to be tired. 2: She's drunk (WTF) 3: I did tell her to bring a movie... but everyone knows thats code, for let's kiss and/or take it further. During the ENTIRE first half of the movie, she's talking to her roommate. 4: Once she's FINALLY off the phone, she passes out!!!! ........................................................................................................................................................................
UMMMMMHHHHH WTFFFFFFF?????

Clearly, at this point I'm pissed. Okay so maybe kissing her woulda took it too far, too soon.... but shit! Why even come over?? DAMN! So when she finally comes to, the movie is over and I want her to get the FUCK out. So I eject the dvd, walk her to the door and tell her to text me once she's made it home safely.

EPISODE 7:

Okay, I know what you're thinking, but damn I got it bad for this girl. She texts me (an improvement) and tells me she's sorry for her behavior, that her roomie has been goin thru a lot, and that she wants to sit me down and explain everything... and once she's done that I won't be mad anymore. Okay. I can dig it.

Her: Where are you
Me: In the student center on campus... you?
Her: by your apartment
Me: .... do you want me to meet you there?
Her: umh no thats cool, i gotta go home and deal with this drama, I'll hit you up later
Me: ok kim, whatever

9HOURS LATER......

Me: hey, hope you're roommate is doing better, did you still plan on comin over here
Her:
Me: ?
Her:

So after all of that... I was done. I hate being stood up, I hate liars, I hate people who allow themselves to get so sucked into drama it affects me.

Today, I see her in the student center (sc) and I say HI, and keep it moving, she catches my arm saying her apt is on the third floor, and her phone fell off the balcony. The screen broke and she had no way of contactin me. She gets a new phone today at 5 and will hit me up to talk then. Me: ok. sounds fine.

idk what it is about this girl, because I gave the rebound guy HELL when he stood me up didn't text me and she's already done that a few times. I'm trying to be patient.. but damn its wearing thin. I'm caught between dropping everyone, and keeping them all at a distance. I'll just have to think some more on it. If she comes thru on her word today.... we'll see. Naomi has to go, Steve is already gone... which leaves kim and the rebound guy. *sigh* wish me luck... I may just tap out on this one. I'm tired of ringing the bell and goin thru round after round with her ass.. gettin the same results.