So, part two:
Needless to say after have gone thru an experience like that, and Naomi not being there, I wasn't too keen to hit her up.... at ALL. She eventually sends me this Long ass email stating that she misses me, and that she thinks about me all the time, she's sorry for not being there for me, but that she still wants a relationship with me.
HA
Really? I was a little surprised to have heard from her ass at all considering how she jus up and left me... but I still love her. Her actions def hurt me, a lot, but that doesn't negate the feelings that have accumulated for her. I tell her that our relationship is damaged, but that it's fixable. Idk HOW we actually inteded on fixing it, but I know that I was honestly ready to give it a try. This brings me to this semester: spring of 09. Since the break we've been taking it slow, texting, not really pushing anything and then she asks to come over... I hesitate, but I feel like I can handle it.
BOY was I WRONG!!!! Things between us were jus weird and awkward. We used to be able to talk shit to one another (jokingly of course), and have serious conversations, but now? Our conversations are as shallow as 2feet deep lake. I learn from that visit, that I'm not as comfortable with her as I'd like, so we resume to texting.
Fastforward to today, things haven't changed THAT much, she had a "girl" as did, but both relationships fell thru and idk.... I just can't connect with her the way we did last semester. We actually went like 3 weeks without speaking to one another over some dumb ass argument... that's not like us at all.
So to conclude this sequal, I sent her an email. I explained exactly WHY we are the way we are. The trust is gone, and the bond is broken. I will always harbor feelings for her, but she honestly knows nothing about my emotional and physical experiences last semester and you know what? She doesn't DESERVE to know, and I told her such. As a friend, you don't bail when the times get hard. Idk why she didn't know that, but she says she allowed her emotions to take control.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. You're 27 years old! Why haven't you learned how to get that under raps now? Granted, from time to time everyone slips up, but damn! She sure as hell picked the Worse time to do that!
She initally responded to my email saying that she wasn't going to let our friendship go, but she later changed her mind, and said she realizes how hurt I must have been not to have had her, and that if I'm better off without her in my life then she'll fall back.
I'm not quite sure HOW I feel at this point, but her and I have made the decision to talk face-to-face tomorrow and figure it out.
**Wish me luck**
Showing posts with label liar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label liar. Show all posts
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Tap out??
Okay, so among the heart breaker (steve), my first "girlfriend" (naomi), and the rebound guy, there's someone else I'm talking to. I know, I know, I should just slow down, figure out what I want, one person atta time blah, blah BLAH... but a girls gotta have options right? Her name is *kim. I have been feeling this girl since my freshman year. She is very attractive, funny, and has the coolest personality I've ever encountered. Now my freshman year, I had never been with a girl, but I knew I wanted Kim. However she was engaged our freshman year... and I'm not home wrecker.
BUT fast forward 3 years..... she's no longer engaged, I'm no longer only sleeping with men, and we're BOTH single and extremely available.
EPISODE 1:
I hit her up, we text for a few days and then I invite her over. we HIT IT OFF. We laughed, joked, and just had a BANGIN ass conversation. I tend to be very sarcastic, but she could handle it. Although there was no physical contact besides a hug on her way out... I kinda wished there had been. So after that great night, I honestly could see myself seriously talking to her, and I genuinely wanted to get to know her.
EPISODE 2:
I hit her up (notice how I am the pursuer?? I HATE feeling like I'm pressed, I mean shit! if you like me pick up the phone and lemme kno!), I want her to come over again obviously.. but she informs me there is some kind of drama with her roomie and she has to go home to comfort her... ok, I respect that. So we don't chill, nor do we text, or have any kind of contact what so ever.
EPISODE 3-5:::
to sum it up: drama, Drama, DRAMA, roomie, Roomie, ROOMIE. Broken truths, lies of returning my texts/phone calls. Everything that comes out this girls mouth is about how her roommate is goin thru it, and how she doesn't want to be involved anymore. Like Kim, baby, if you don't wanna be involved, and you wanna be able to chill with me... then just DO it.
EPISODE 6:
She says she's comin over. =D that's all I can do. But that immediately changes. 1: she comes over an hour later than I had planned... so I know she's going to be tired. 2: She's drunk (WTF) 3: I did tell her to bring a movie... but everyone knows thats code, for let's kiss and/or take it further. During the ENTIRE first half of the movie, she's talking to her roommate. 4: Once she's FINALLY off the phone, she passes out!!!! ........................................................................................................................................................................
UMMMMMHHHHH WTFFFFFFF?????
Clearly, at this point I'm pissed. Okay so maybe kissing her woulda took it too far, too soon.... but shit! Why even come over?? DAMN! So when she finally comes to, the movie is over and I want her to get the FUCK out. So I eject the dvd, walk her to the door and tell her to text me once she's made it home safely.
EPISODE 7:
Okay, I know what you're thinking, but damn I got it bad for this girl. She texts me (an improvement) and tells me she's sorry for her behavior, that her roomie has been goin thru a lot, and that she wants to sit me down and explain everything... and once she's done that I won't be mad anymore. Okay. I can dig it.
Her: Where are you
Me: In the student center on campus... you?
Her: by your apartment
Me: .... do you want me to meet you there?
Her: umh no thats cool, i gotta go home and deal with this drama, I'll hit you up later
Me: ok kim, whatever
9HOURS LATER......
Me: hey, hope you're roommate is doing better, did you still plan on comin over here
Her:
Me: ?
Her:
So after all of that... I was done. I hate being stood up, I hate liars, I hate people who allow themselves to get so sucked into drama it affects me.
Today, I see her in the student center (sc) and I say HI, and keep it moving, she catches my arm saying her apt is on the third floor, and her phone fell off the balcony. The screen broke and she had no way of contactin me. She gets a new phone today at 5 and will hit me up to talk then. Me: ok. sounds fine.
idk what it is about this girl, because I gave the rebound guy HELL when he stood me up didn't text me and she's already done that a few times. I'm trying to be patient.. but damn its wearing thin. I'm caught between dropping everyone, and keeping them all at a distance. I'll just have to think some more on it. If she comes thru on her word today.... we'll see. Naomi has to go, Steve is already gone... which leaves kim and the rebound guy. *sigh* wish me luck... I may just tap out on this one. I'm tired of ringing the bell and goin thru round after round with her ass.. gettin the same results.
BUT fast forward 3 years..... she's no longer engaged, I'm no longer only sleeping with men, and we're BOTH single and extremely available.
EPISODE 1:
I hit her up, we text for a few days and then I invite her over. we HIT IT OFF. We laughed, joked, and just had a BANGIN ass conversation. I tend to be very sarcastic, but she could handle it. Although there was no physical contact besides a hug on her way out... I kinda wished there had been. So after that great night, I honestly could see myself seriously talking to her, and I genuinely wanted to get to know her.
EPISODE 2:
I hit her up (notice how I am the pursuer?? I HATE feeling like I'm pressed, I mean shit! if you like me pick up the phone and lemme kno!), I want her to come over again obviously.. but she informs me there is some kind of drama with her roomie and she has to go home to comfort her... ok, I respect that. So we don't chill, nor do we text, or have any kind of contact what so ever.
EPISODE 3-5:::
to sum it up: drama, Drama, DRAMA, roomie, Roomie, ROOMIE. Broken truths, lies of returning my texts/phone calls. Everything that comes out this girls mouth is about how her roommate is goin thru it, and how she doesn't want to be involved anymore. Like Kim, baby, if you don't wanna be involved, and you wanna be able to chill with me... then just DO it.
EPISODE 6:
She says she's comin over. =D that's all I can do. But that immediately changes. 1: she comes over an hour later than I had planned... so I know she's going to be tired. 2: She's drunk (WTF) 3: I did tell her to bring a movie... but everyone knows thats code, for let's kiss and/or take it further. During the ENTIRE first half of the movie, she's talking to her roommate. 4: Once she's FINALLY off the phone, she passes out!!!! ........................................................................................................................................................................
UMMMMMHHHHH WTFFFFFFF?????
Clearly, at this point I'm pissed. Okay so maybe kissing her woulda took it too far, too soon.... but shit! Why even come over?? DAMN! So when she finally comes to, the movie is over and I want her to get the FUCK out. So I eject the dvd, walk her to the door and tell her to text me once she's made it home safely.
EPISODE 7:
Okay, I know what you're thinking, but damn I got it bad for this girl. She texts me (an improvement) and tells me she's sorry for her behavior, that her roomie has been goin thru a lot, and that she wants to sit me down and explain everything... and once she's done that I won't be mad anymore. Okay. I can dig it.
Her: Where are you
Me: In the student center on campus... you?
Her: by your apartment
Me: .... do you want me to meet you there?
Her: umh no thats cool, i gotta go home and deal with this drama, I'll hit you up later
Me: ok kim, whatever
9HOURS LATER......
Me: hey, hope you're roommate is doing better, did you still plan on comin over here
Her:
Me: ?
Her:
So after all of that... I was done. I hate being stood up, I hate liars, I hate people who allow themselves to get so sucked into drama it affects me.
Today, I see her in the student center (sc) and I say HI, and keep it moving, she catches my arm saying her apt is on the third floor, and her phone fell off the balcony. The screen broke and she had no way of contactin me. She gets a new phone today at 5 and will hit me up to talk then. Me: ok. sounds fine.
idk what it is about this girl, because I gave the rebound guy HELL when he stood me up didn't text me and she's already done that a few times. I'm trying to be patient.. but damn its wearing thin. I'm caught between dropping everyone, and keeping them all at a distance. I'll just have to think some more on it. If she comes thru on her word today.... we'll see. Naomi has to go, Steve is already gone... which leaves kim and the rebound guy. *sigh* wish me luck... I may just tap out on this one. I'm tired of ringing the bell and goin thru round after round with her ass.. gettin the same results.
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