Sunday, April 12, 2009

Naomi... pt 2

So, part two:

Needless to say after have gone thru an experience like that, and Naomi not being there, I wasn't too keen to hit her up.... at ALL. She eventually sends me this Long ass email stating that she misses me, and that she thinks about me all the time, she's sorry for not being there for me, but that she still wants a relationship with me.


Really? I was a little surprised to have heard from her ass at all considering how she jus up and left me... but I still love her. Her actions def hurt me, a lot, but that doesn't negate the feelings that have accumulated for her. I tell her that our relationship is damaged, but that it's fixable. Idk HOW we actually inteded on fixing it, but I know that I was honestly ready to give it a try. This brings me to this semester: spring of 09. Since the break we've been taking it slow, texting, not really pushing anything and then she asks to come over... I hesitate, but I feel like I can handle it.

BOY was I WRONG!!!! Things between us were jus weird and awkward. We used to be able to talk shit to one another (jokingly of course), and have serious conversations, but now? Our conversations are as shallow as 2feet deep lake. I learn from that visit, that I'm not as comfortable with her as I'd like, so we resume to texting.

Fastforward to today, things haven't changed THAT much, she had a "girl" as did, but both relationships fell thru and idk.... I just can't connect with her the way we did last semester. We actually went like 3 weeks without speaking to one another over some dumb ass argument... that's not like us at all.

So to conclude this sequal, I sent her an email. I explained exactly WHY we are the way we are. The trust is gone, and the bond is broken. I will always harbor feelings for her, but she honestly knows nothing about my emotional and physical experiences last semester and you know what? She doesn't DESERVE to know, and I told her such. As a friend, you don't bail when the times get hard. Idk why she didn't know that, but she says she allowed her emotions to take control.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. You're 27 years old! Why haven't you learned how to get that under raps now? Granted, from time to time everyone slips up, but damn! She sure as hell picked the Worse time to do that!

She initally responded to my email saying that she wasn't going to let our friendship go, but she later changed her mind, and said she realizes how hurt I must have been not to have had her, and that if I'm better off without her in my life then she'll fall back.

I'm not quite sure HOW I feel at this point, but her and I have made the decision to talk face-to-face tomorrow and figure it out.

**Wish me luck**

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