Friday, March 27, 2009

My other 1/2

I can't escape you, even when I'm sleeping.
I'm dreaming, thinking that you're in front of me screaming
We beefin', going back and forth, fighting for no reason
I'm squeezing, on your neck, trying to stop you from breathing
Getting even, you punch back, leaving me with bruises, I'm bleeding.

I'm cheating, she blows it up like I've committed treason.
It's deceiving because she can't picture me leaving. She's cheesing, like she knows when I look at her what I'm seeing.

She's forcing me to look, at my eyes and my lips.
I don't want to, too much pride to admit

That the person I'm fighting... is ME
An abusive relationship, that I envision in sleep.

So I smack her, attack her, verbally harass her.
Tell her I can do better, but all I hear is laughter.
She looks at me and says " girl you're a disaster"
I look away, eyes water, I'm starting to get madder.
She says "you know I'm right, you're living life backwards".

I look back and see her,
I start to sweat,
feels like a fever.
I know she's right, even though I don't want to believe her.

I can't leave, cuz she's me, and ultimately I need her.
Every time I hurt her, I feel like I'm hurting me.
She knows how to hurt me back, she kills me with uncertainty.

So I light the flame, try to burn her to the third degree.
Wake up with burn marks, rushing off to surgery.
Oxygen mask on , thinking death would be a luxury.

Cuz I was trying to kill myself, I wasn't in love with me.


  1. sometimes I get a little poetic.. and have to voice how I feel.. I wrote this awhile ago... but sometimes it's nice to reflect on the past and see how far you've come ya kno?

  2. This is nice. I can feel the passion behind it even now. The beauty of poetry and prose --- the good stuff ages wonderfully with time.